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I recently had someone tell me that they were going to start spanking their child when they reach 15 months. For a little background information, this child I am referring to is currently 13 months, and still not speaking. This child doesn't even have the benefit of being able to ask what it is that she has done wrong.
Dr. James Dobson recommends using an object to spank your child with (as opposed to your hands). Do we really think our children are so dumb that they cannot recognize that the object is simply and extension of our hand? And even an extension of our own anger? A person spanks. A spoon does not. It's very easy to try and rationalize an ugly act, or to place the blame somewhere else. I don't think that 15 years down the road the kid is going to blame the spoon.
Here is my list of reasons why we should NOT spank our children:
1. We don't teach our children to hit others when they've done something wrong
2. As adults, we do not hit others
3. If you hit your child, they are more likely to hit
4. Think of when you were spanked as a child & how it made you feel. Chances are you remember those moments, and not fondly.
5. Our hands are supposed to be loving, a safe place for our children. We are supposed to protect our children, not harm our children. Using a spoon or belt does not make spanking any better. Kids realize that you (mom or dad) are the one that is operating the weapon.
6. There are other and (what I believe to be) more effective & less emotionally scarring forms of discipline. Ever heard of a good ole' timeout? Stare at the wall? Take away something privileged?
7. Spare the rod, spoil the child. Do people really still believe this?! I don't think that not hitting your child is going to be what ended up spoiling them. Buying them every video game on the market and letting them drink soda at 8 p.m. on a school night might though.
8. Do we really want our childen to fear us?
9. Is spanking really a means or discipline OR is it just a fed up parent releasing their anger & frustration on their child. Our children are not our own personal punching bags. Maybe some parents could use a good time out.
10. Last, but not least, I have spanked before. No, it was not a human, but I did spank my dog Arlo when I was at my wits end with him and he simply wasn't listening to anything. I got fed up and I spanked him right on the rump. I will never forget the look on his face right after I did it either. I immediately felt complete remorse. Arlo remembered for a while too. Any time I would raise my voice he would tuck his tail and look sad for a solid month after. What's more, Arlo didn't change his bad behavior because I decided to give him a good whack. Yes, Arlo is a dog. BUT, I think science has taught us that animals are not so different than us. They have feelings and emotions and are capable of love.
No, I am not a parent and I am sure that anyone who reads this blog will let that fact alone disqualify my opinion. What I can say is that I was a child once and I got spanked, not often, but enough to remember. Being that I am not a parent, I do not know what it feels like when your child has been fussy and misbehaving all day and you cannot seem to catch a break. What I do know is that I am a good person plan on raising a kind-hearted and loving human being. Children learn their behaviors at an early age. Are we not role models for our children? My parenting style will be to lead by example. To each their own, but I deeply hope that the human population can show a little bit more compassion, especially if you are going to call yourself the "superior species"... we need to start acting like it.
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